5.5 Tips for the Dance Detective

Tonight on the agenda we delve into the world of dance espionage… Ooooooo, aaaaaahhh! We are going to give you all the tricks of the trade you need to help uncover whether or not your friends have been secretly taking dance lessons. It may seem easy, but only a trained detective can pick up on the subtle, but life changing differences that happen once someone begins to ballroom dance.

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Trance-Like State When Music Comes On: Let me just take a guess at how things used to be. You and your friend are driving in your car on one of those long road trips that friends do, you know, like Thelma & Louise (please no driving off a cliff), Dumb & Dumber (I’m sure most of you have a collective IQ over 10), or Harold & Kumar (please no White Castle). Your favorite song comes on and what was at one time a two person Rolling Stones-esque performance has now turned into a one man (or woman) solo with the other person rocking a glazed, out of body-type look on their face. There’s two logical explanations. Numero Uno, they finally realized that you are the weak link of the duo and are trying DESPERATELY to tune out the jackal like noises that are emanating from you. Numero Dos: They are frantically trying to figure out what the heck you dance to this song before its untimely ending! You see, once you start dancing you begin to listen to music differently. You can certainly enjoy songs as you once did (horribly singing along as you make surrounding animal life resentful of mankind), but you get the added perk of going through the laundry list of dances that you know to see what dance best matches the song. The process normally goes something like this: Is this fast or slow? Okay it’s slow… Can I dance the Waltz? No *Shakes Head*, it’s not 3/4 timing. Can I dance the Rumba? *Mentally tries to do the box step in head while music is playing (Side Note: Head may actually start moving at this point)*… YES!! YES I CAN!! This may go on for every song that your friend listens to from now on… So sorry.
Their Posture is Immaculate: Is your once even heightened friend now starting to look down on you? Are they over the age of 18 after puberty has hit? If the answer to both of these questions is yes, then there’s a darn good chance your friend has developed a fondness for the ballroom dances! You see, when one dives into the awesome world of ballroom dance, a number of changes are made. You suddenly become aware of muscles you never knew existed and how things like posture and head position make a HUGE impact on everything. On a personal note, I knew I had made a difference in my posture when someone had told me my posture was “dope”… I think that’s a good thing. So if you were once staring eye to eye with a colleague and suddenly you’re eye to chin… there’s a good chance they’re Waltzing their nights away!

 

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The Jones’ Seem Happier: Your once bickering neighbors now, miraculously, seem to be on cloud nine. What once seemed like a marriage destined to live out its days with snarky remarks and eye rolls now consists of random bouts of laughter and more frequent date nights. You see, a lot of couples learn to dance for a multitude of different reasons. One of the MOST COMMON reasons is due to upcoming empty nest syndrome. The kids are soon to be leaving the house and the folks quickly realize that it will just be “the two of us” in a big ol’ house. What better way to reacquaint yourself with the love of your life than holding them in your arms for 45 minutes. Who knows, that 45 minutes may lead to a lifetime filled with random acts of dancing, spontaneous dipping, and many moments of being swept off your feet.

 

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No Gym Time, Slimmer Waist Line: Your one time gym buddy no longer has time for your weekly workouts, but still seems to be fitting into his/her high school clothes. (Please note I’m talking about size of high school clothes, please do not bring back tie-dye or acid wash jeans….please….please no). Are they secretly getting the extra fat sucked out on the weekends? Possibly. Trying out that new “freeze the fat” trend? Perhaps. What also may be just as likely and TONS more fun is that they’re “salsa-ing” their nights away. Dancing burns a whopping amount of calories and is amazingly easy on the joints. If your once gym happy friend is still losing weight but missing gym appointments, there’s a good chance they are burning the midnight oil dancing to their favorite songs.

 

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Your Friend Is Always Inconspicuously Busy on Night/Weekends: Considering the way society is now-a-days, most people prefer to spend their nights at home, curled up with a good book (or binge watching a good Netflix TV show). There are benefits and consequences to this. First and foremost, you always know where your friend is. You can call them up and can pretty much guarantee they’ll answer (unless they’re on the season finale). That once reliant friend has seemingly turned into a ghost overnight. When you call them up now you either get no answer or just loud strange music in the background. They have either been abducted by aliens (HIGHLY unlikely) or started… wait for it… a little longer… a little more… SOCIALIZING!! Wait, what?!?! What’s that?!?! Socializing is a thing where people gather and do things together. Dancing is a great conduit to get together with friends to try something new or just to meet a brand new set of awesome friends. I’m particularly proud of how welcoming and friendly our student body has been. You get to have an amazing time doing incredible things with awesome people; what could be better?
5.5. They Literally Just told you: This is why there’s the whole “.5” thing in here. Not much sleuth work necessary here, just good ol’ fashioned listening. Although with technology the way it is, actually engaging in conversations is quite the accomplishment, so GOOD JOB!! Pat yourself on the back for actually having some sort of human contact. This one usually comes up because the person you’re talking to is just so darn happy to be having a good time, listening to music, and actually talking to real live people that they can’t hold it in any longer and MUST TELL SOMEONE!!

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